When people talk about adoption, it is often to say how lucky the child is that he or she was adopted and provided with opportunities that he or she probably wouldn't have otherwise been afforded. However, in working with the Family Stories Project in my junior and senior years of college, I came to realize just how one-sided that statement is.

When I was 18 months old, I was adopted from Seoul , South Korea by a couple who lived in Michigan , and had a 10 year old son. Physical differences were evident to me from an early age, and my parents never tried to hide the fact that I was adopted. I honestly don't remember the early conversations about adoption, but I know that I understood what it meant to be adopted. Although my parents always told me that I could ask them questions, I rarely broached the topic because I knew it was a sensitive matter for all of us. Looking back with hindsight, I realize that talking about my adoption more may have brought us closer together, but at the time it often felt like discussing it would simply emphasize the differences between us that we all wanted to ignore.

It wasn't until beginning to work with the Family Stories Project that I realized that I wasn't the only 'lucky' one in my family. Of course my parents had given me many things that I might not have been afforded had I not been adopted. However, in listening to the many parents who had been interviewed through the project (as I worked on my honors thesis), I realized what a gift I had been to my parents as well. Without me they may never have had a second child, which was something they both wanted very much.

Working on the FSP also helped me to realize that the love that surrounds adoption is so obvious - it isn't a business relationship as so many people may tend to see it. It's not just a couple 'doing a good thing.' It's about extending love outside biological boundaries and building families in a different, but very special, way. It takes a tremendous amount of love for a couple to open up their home to a child and for the child to open up his or her heart to them. It takes an even greater amount of love to make it work, but the wonderful thing about it is that millions of families do it every day.

I am so grateful that I had the opportunity to work on this project. I have gained so much from it. Not only have I learned about the research process and the logistics of adoption, but also I have gained so much understanding of myself and my family. It has been a privilege to work with the FSP staff and receive all of their support. I would also like to thank all of the families that have come to share their stories with us, as without them I may never have learned all that I have. I hope that families have benefited as much from their participation as I have and I wish them the best of luck as they grow together. Being 'different' from other families can be difficult at times, but it's important to remember, as I now realize, that the difference really only makes the family more special.

Vanessa